As we transition into a New Year, it's only natural that we review our past and consider what we might want from the future. This is an exciting time of renewal, clean slates, and opportunities! Each of us will make specific "resolutions" and "goals" for the upcoming year, and we set out with enthusiasm and high hopes that this will be the year when we finally lose that 10 pounds, or go back to school, or start exercising, or whatever it is we want so badly. The good news is that we are all fully capable of accomplishing whatever it is that we want! We see and hear stories all the time of amazing accomplishments that people have made—so we know it's possible. We're really no different from them. If we've ever failed in the past, it doesn't mean that we are failures. It only means that we didn't make the changes necessary to reach our goals.

In a nutshell, this seems to be the hang-up for most of us in reaching our goals: the challenge of making changes in our lives.

So often we want a better life than we have but we, ourselves, are unwilling to change. Sure, it takes time and effort to do things differently, but if we are unwilling to make changes ourselves, we're going to keep on seeing the same results in our lives. It's as simple as that. You may have heard the definition of insanity described as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." It's kind of like banging your head against a wall.

So what it is that keeps us from changing?

One thing is that we fail to make the key internal changes required for us to make any external changes. A great example of this is the trouble people have trying to lose weight. They desperately want to lose weight, but yet time and time again they fail. This is because they are only addressing the symptom (extra weight), rather than the root cause. Once they truly understand their habits (why they eat, why they don't exercise, etc.) and address the underlying issues (usually emotional), then they will finally have success. They succeed because they now appreciate, accept, and love themselves exactly as they are. At this point it doesn't matter what diet or plan they choose; they will succeed!

The human mind is a very complicated instrument, so it takes serious and honest internal reflection to understand our behavior and our true motivations. Personal coaching or counseling might be needed to help us understand ourselves enough to make the internal changes. Have you ever tried several times to reach a goal and failed and don't understand why? If so, it might be helpful to seek out objective support on the subject—it's well worth the time and money.

Speaking of time and money, investing in these resources is another important aspect of change. The problem is that we often seem to want more time and money, but we're unwilling to invest any time or money of our own. About the only 'easy' way to get unlimited time and money is to buy a lottery ticket each week and pray for the winning numbers. However, the odds are stacked against us, and we probably shouldn't plan our futures around it.

Every successful person I've known or read about says that their success required effort. It required a significant investment of both time and money to get where they are today; they say that you have to be willing to give up a little in order to make progress. However, these same people also say that, in the end, what they gave up was insignificant compared to what they gained. Admittedly, I've had serious hesitations before making commitments in the past. But ultimately I've never regretted any of my financial investments. Actually, it's just the opposite. Investing in yourself is the single most important investment you can make in your life. How willing are you to invest your time and money for positive changes in your life?

Even though some of us are willing to invest our resources and are aware of what we need to change, for some reason we simply don't take any action. What is it that keeps us stuck? Perhaps the biggest obstacle that keeps us from changing is the fear of change itself—more specifically, fear of the unknown. We want to change, but we are handcuffed to our present state by our fear of the unknown. We can barely tolerate our current situation but don't know what to do about it, so we don't do anything and become paralyzed. We're afraid of making the wrong decision, or afraid of doing something stupid or embarrassing ourselves, or we can't guarantee the results and we don't want to gamble. Maybe we're just afraid of what might happen if we do change. Thus, we remain stuck in bad relationships or in dead-end jobs. We may wake up each day, dreading the thought of doing it all over again, yet we don't do anything different.

About a year ago I read an amazing story that demonstrated how strong our fear of the unknown can be. In this story, a social service worker was helping to remove a child from his home, where in this case a little boy had been badly and repeatedly physically abused by his mother. As the police were taking the toddler from his home, he screamed loudly for his mother and clawed at the door on the way out, desperately reaching for his mother with his thin and bruised out-stretched arms.

What a graphic and powerful image. Here we have a child that has been treated inhumanely by his mother. Yet when faced with the unknown, he desperately tried to go back to her, where he at least knew what to expect. This boy was willing to accept the abuse from his mother, just to avoid going away with strangers where he doesn't know what will happen next. This story really caught my attention, and it made me realize how tragic it is that fear of the unknown can be such strong a motivator in our lives.

If this boy would so easily go back into the arms of an abusive parent, how might we be putting ourselves at risk by avoiding change? Are there areas in your life where tolerating your current circumstance is detrimental to your well-being?

As you go forward in this New Year—with new plans and new dreams—take some time to think about the changes required of you in order to reach your specific goals and dreams. This doesn't have to be a difficult or 'heavy' task, as we've been lead to believe. If it's done with a curious and positive frame of mind, this can be a fun and adventurous challenge!

What must you accomplish internally to reach your goals?
What kind of investments do you need to make in both time and money?
What are you willing to invest in yourself?
Are you prepared to face the unknown in your pursuit?

These are all important factors to consider. If we can be honest with ourselves and address these issues ahead of time, we will be much more confident in our quest and much more successful in creating change and reaching our goals. And nothing breeds success…like success!

Best wishes to you for a wildly successful 2008!

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Bill Stimpson is a coach, consultant, and writer who encourages others to think independently. Learn more about Bill.

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