Taking Gratitude to the Next Level
By Bill Stimpson
November 2007

For those of us living in the United States, it's only natural that we think about gratitude as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches. Many of us have been taught to do this since we were small children. This is the time of year where we take the time to think about all that we're grateful for and say "thank you." Things like family, friends, our home, and our job come to mind. We pause to give thanks…even though we might not truly like our job or maybe much of anything about our lives. We're taught that this is important to say "thank you," regardless of our situation. And yes, this is a good thing to do.

However, it seems to me there is a better way to consider gratitude. What about embracing gratitude as a "habit," keeping it with us forever? Why should we wait another whole year to think about it again? In my own

personal experience, I've found that gratitude is the cornerstone of contentment. If we aren't grateful for what we have, we will never be content. It's important to appreciate all aspects of our life; being grateful for everything leads to internal peace and happiness. And once we embrace gratitude in our lives, things magically fall into place around us. Like attracts like, so being grateful invites more good things into our lives.

Let me share some of my success with gratitude. To begin, I'm very grateful that I've chosen gratitude and have continued to pursue it in my life. What a difference it has made for me! Putting aside the obvious things that I'm grateful for, I've found the most meaningful things to appreciate are sometimes the least likely. One example of this is my past battle with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. I've also been blessed with other experiences like depression, anxiety, and chronic pain. No, I'm not being sarcastic I actually am very grateful for these things. Within each of these experiences, I've learned so many wonderful things about life that I would have otherwise never known. And for that I am truly grateful. These experiences provided me with insights into life that I previously could not grasp.

One of these insights is the tremendous compassion I have developed for others. Regardless of the outward appearance, we all have struggles in our life, and many of these struggles can be painful for us. Now, when I interact with people I recognize those struggles and the resulting pain, and I can't help but have the deepest level of compassion for all. I really can't even get mad at others any longer. And, in fact, I have a difficult time saying anything negative about anyone even those that the public might consider "monsters." We're all the same inside. We all have hopes and dreams and we all have challenges. And despite our actions, we all do the best we can in our given circumstance. Always doing our best is one of the natural laws of being human. It's just that sometimes our circumstances trip us up and our best doesn't look very good.

Every experience I have ever had, has lead me to where I am today. And I love where I am and who I am today. I wouldn't go back and change a thing. Sure, there are things I'm not proud of. But I trust that in my "less proud" moments, I might have provided someone else with a positive learning experience. Our lives are all intertwined and so amazingly woven together, that we have to learn to work together to provide each other with what we need. From this perspective, I've learned to never take anything that anyone else does personally. It's most likely not about me; it's about them. And if it does cause me some pain or discomfort, then I should be grateful for that experience since they are helping me learn more about myself, on my journey to personal peace and contentment.

I am so grateful for each experience I've had great and small. Pain is not a fun thing. But the flip side joy is so much more meaningful once you have experienced its opposite. Again, this is our nature as humans because we tend to gauge everything we encounter within a dualistic model, which says that everything is either good or bad. While this might not be the best model to live by, I found that my level of joy has increased tremendously over the past few years, as I made the choice to deal with some of the more painful issues I'd been living with. For many of us, our natural reaction to a negative emotion is to run, ignore, or to put up a barricade. But it's best to deal with things as they come up. Letting things fester only leads to massive "dis-comfort" and "dis-ease" later on. So it's best to listen to your body, be grateful for its guidance, and deal with the situation sooner rather than later.

You might be wondering how the topic of gratitude has come to this point to a discussion dealing with emotional pain? Well, quite honestly I didn't see it coming either! But using a topic like this is a great way for me to illustrate how deeply gratitude has affected my life. Even the darkest areas of my life are full of light, when I look at them through the lens of gratitude. Quite simply, gratitude has the power to chase away darkness and reveal all the beauty of this world we live in. The lens of gratitude also has a unique ability to capture miracles, where without it there would be nothing but the plain and ordinary.

And so I encourage each of you to contemplate this level of gratitude while celebrating Thanksgiving, and perhaps over the entire holiday season. Keep in mind that it's not as easy as flipping a switch, as I might have suggested here. It takes work. I found that it's like building up a muscle over time; each time I exercise this muscle, it becomes stronger, and easier to use. My wish is that each of you will find the level of peace and contentment that I have gained from a focus on gratitude. If you find yourself up to the task, please be prepared for the possibility of wonderful things to happen. Maybe even a miracle.


Ready to experience more gratitude in your life? Sign-up for an Ultimate Living Jump-Start to close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be!

Bill Stimpson is a coach, consultant, and writer who encourages others to think independently. Learn more about Bill.

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